Learning from nomads about commitment and longing to roam

The other day I had a chance to listen to an Israeli song that I really like, a song that I have had a soft spot for ever since I was young. It is called “A Bedouin Love Song” (Shir Ahava Bedouin) and I thought I would present it here and the new insights I have gained about life, family and commitment now that I listened to it as a father.

The song is about the life of nomads and the clash of the romantic need to roam versus the needs of the house and the family. I recommend that you play the song and go over the translation, even if you don’t know Hebrew, it just has a great melody.

Below is each verse, first in Hebrew, then a phonetic translation and then my attempt to translate the spirit of the song (bear with me, I’m not a poet in any capacity):

צלילי חליל אל החולות של המדבר היה שולח
ליטף הוא את גופה הרך והסופה טרפה הכל
חדל להיות כמו החולות אני רוצה אותך כמו סלע
אז הבטיח לא לנדוד שוב כמו החול

Tzlilei halil el hamidbar hya shuleach

Litef hu et gufah harach vehasufah tarfah hakol

Chadal lihiut kmo hacholot ani rotzah otchah kmo sela’

Az hevtiach lo lindod shuv kmo hachol

Sounds of flute into the desert sends he was sending

He stroked her soft body and the storm devoured all

“Stop being like the sand I want you like a rock”

So he promised not to roam anymore like the sand

כשהרוחות אותו ליטפו בעוז אחז במוט האוהל
אוזניו אטם הוא לא לשמוע לא לנשום כלל את הצליל
אתה נווד לחש מדבר אתה נקבר באוהל צר
והכבשים פעו בואדי כמו חליל

Ksheharuchut oto litfu beo’z achaz bemot ha’ohel

Oznav atam hu lo lishmoa lo linshum klal et hatzlil

Atah navad lachash midbar atah nikbar beohel tzar

Ve’hkvasim pa’o bavadi kmo chalil

When the winds petted him he fiercely held to the tent’s pole

Sealed his ear to not hear, not breath the sounds

You are a nomad, the desert whispered, you are buried in this confined tent

And the sheep bleated in the gully

הו הו הו הו הו קול קורא לנדוד לנדוד
הו הו הו הו הו קול קורא לנדוד לנדוד

Ho hu ho hu ho hu kol koreh lindod lindod

Ho hu ho hu ho hu kol koreh lindod lindod

…oh a voice calls to roam again

…oh a voice calls to roam again

וכשפרצו השיטפונות שכח את כל מה שהבטיח
אל הצלילים של החליל הושיט ידיים בסופה
במחול טרוף בקני הסוף נסחף שיכור כמו חול ברוח
גם הסלעים פרשו כנפיים כמו אנפה

Vekshpartzu hashitfonot shachach et kol mah shevtiach

El htzlilim shel hachalil hoshit yadaim basufah

Bimchol teruf bikneh hasuf nischuf shikor kmo chol baruach

Gam hasla’im parsu knafai’ym kmo anafah

And when the floods came he forgot all that he promised

To the sounds of the flute he reached in the storm

In a crazy dance in the willows he drifted drunk like sand in the wind

Even the rocks spread wings like a heron

וכשחזר שוב על סוסו להעמיק את מוט האוהל
על היריעות היא בחוטים ובצבעים מילים רקמה
ברוך שובך בוגד אחוז היטב במוט האוהל
כי גם אותי סופה נודדת סחפה

 Veksh’chazar shuv al susu leha’amik et moy ha’ohel

A’l hayeriot hi bechutim obetzva’im milim rakma

Baruch shubcha boged echoz heitev bemot ha’ohel

Ki gam oti, sufah nodedt, shachafah

When he returned on his horse to deepen the tent’s pole

On the fabrics she had sewn with string and colour

Welcome back cheater, hold tight to the tent’s poll

Because a drifting storm had picked me too

What a song, and such a confusing one as such! I do have to accept that non Hebrew speakers will have a hard time grasping how beautiful the song is with my less than great translation, but I hope that at least the spirit of it is clear.

To recap what happened:

He is a roamer (or a cheater, if you prefer the adultery version) and is being told by his woman to stay put. At some point the weather changes (or a woman comes by, again, choose your version) and he can’t resist going back out to the outdoors, forgetting all that he had behind. When he comes back, trying to reclaim his place, he finds that he is no longer welcome (or another man took his place?). This is the essence of the song as I understand it.

As a child and then a young man, this song was always the true meaning of being a nomad for me, a drifter, an adventurer: being picked up by the passing wind, going back to the desert, to the call of nature. I found it to be amazingly romantic and listening to it was always enough to send me searching for another adventure.

As I mentioned, I had a chance to listen to it again lately – now as a father, in a committed relationship, after a long trip – and I have to admit, it mainly gives me pangs of nostalgia, not a need to roam. That last verse, which can be easily ignored, now represents the true meaning of the song – I cannot just get up and go, I have responsibility, and commitments. I also not sure I’d like to risk my relationship with my family for the sake of another outdoors adventure. I want them both to co-exist, the way the true nomads did it.

A bit about nomads

Nomads go back to the dawn of humanity, when we were all nomads – roaming in search of food, evolving from hunter-gatherers to pastoral nomads, allowing for less reliance on what ever scarce meat that the hunter can catch. But food is not the only force that nomads had to deal with – all of mother nature’s whimsical tricks were there – weather, predators, disease and challenging terrains.

Another aspect of the nomadic life is that the move through nature involved the whole family, not parties of men going off to the desert to get food, but uprooting the whole family, or tribe, to go to the next place where food would available. That group movement meant a real mix between the outdoors, nature, family and sustainability.

At first a nomadic tribe is erratic, in constant search for the best food sources, in the best location with the most water and the least competition. This constant “search” in the tribe’s early period is dangerous and can lead to disasters as food is not a guarantee and nature is always around the corner to land another blow. Over time, as the tribe (usually a big family unit) becomes settled in their environment, the family grows and there are more responsibilities. The search for the best is deserted for the sake of the functional, creating regular migration patterns, usually twice a year, to specific locations. When the family grows and the responsibilities increase, the nomadic family deserts the “roaming” way of life for the security of regular migration times and location. The established nomads can be seen as families who keep two (or more) houses in different locations with as many jobs for each season and they just move from one to the other.

Young nomads can still be found today, roaming to new lands to try “their luck” in better conditions, facing the same potential promises and dangers as their ancestors. Those young nomads will too make their own tribes and will fall into migration patterns, or will fail in the process of finding that comfort and security.

What can we learn from nomads

There are 3 main things I have taken from observing, interacting with and knowing nomads:

1. Be in sync with nature, no matter what roaming adventure you choose. Nomads don’t go to nature to escape or to exploit, they rely on it. Try and think of your life as a constant interaction with the natural world rather than short visits into it.
2. When young and free, take the risks and explore. All my life I thought of the great song (see above) as a real memorialization of the nomadic life – the freedom vs the chains of settling. As a young man it always touched me that I should just drift like the sand in the desert, move from one place to another as the nomads did. That sentiment is correct, but it is true for its time: being young and free. While young it is actually vital to explore and try, test and roam, take the necessary risks to find the better alternative. While young and free of commitments it is the best time to travel, thru-hike, explore new sports and locations to really maximize the future and get the best tools.
3. When the time comes, be ready to find the pattern. Just as the nomads don’t stop migrating and roaming, neither should you; just be wise like the nomadic families and find the migration patterns that will be the most functional and predictable so you will eliminate some of the risk. If you are adamant to continue mountaineering, forgo making first ascents; give up doing thru-hiking for a while and invest in section hiking; plan trips that are adventurous but safe for your family, and more.

The main lesson to learn from the nomads and the song is the need to adjust to your new situation. When I heard the song again as a father it took on a whole new meaning. All of a sudden the last 2 verses got a whole new level of importance, with a meaning I missed when I was young – don’t desert your responsibilities just for the sake of the romantic notion to roam. Find the right patterns that will work for your needs but will allow you to come back to an existing tent…..